she woke up with a sticky ear
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
