So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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