I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
