i think my mom watched the whole time
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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