ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
