do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize