Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize