My cat gives me a boner
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
