I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
