my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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