I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
