Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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