got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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