Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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