I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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