On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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