Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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