you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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