But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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