why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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