I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
