Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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