I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
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As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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