too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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