He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
