You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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