yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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