belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
