Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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