take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
false alarm, still single
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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