i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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