i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
