I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
