So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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