So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
