member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
