a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
