I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Screwed.edu
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
