Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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