Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
