Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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