i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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