1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
its not stalking. its research.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
