now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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