But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
