happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
