Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
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The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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