did you get engaged???
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
