You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize