somebody snuck up and got me drunk
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
