I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
