in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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