I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
seriously i just wanna be friends
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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