dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
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