he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
