You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
zippers are such a cool invention
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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