I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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