? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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