Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
