I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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