I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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